Jurassic Mom

“The planet has survived everything in its time.  It will certainly survive us.”  – Michael Crichton (Jurassic Park)

“Mothers are all slightly insane.”  – J.D. Salinger

 

I love two things deeply.  Actually, I love more than two things… But I love two things enough to blog about both of them.

The first thing I love deeply is the book Jurassic Park.  The book, Jurassic Park, is probably the best story idea anyone ever had.  When I first read the book, I wanted to quit writing.  I remember thinking at the time… I will never read ANYTHING better than this book, and I will certainly never write ANYTHING better than this book.

Jurassic Park tells the story of a group of scientists who discover how to clone dinosaurs using the blood of a mosquito taken from an amber fossil, then mix it with that of a frog, and create a huge zoo full of dinosaurs off the coast of Costa Rica.

At first, it seems like an awesome idea, and the park really is quite impressive.  But, as usual, greed gets in the way.  One terrible human being and a few loose corners causes a breach in the security system, and suddenly the T-Rex is out, as are all the others, and well, the park ends up not being quite as much fun as the owner had hoped.

In the same way some people remember the Kennedy Assassination, or the downing of the Space Shuttle Challenger, I remember where I was when I first read the book Jurassic Park.

I was working at The Boys and Girls Club in Alaska in 1992, and I was dating a guy I met at a Renaissance Fair, whose main goals in life were to smoke weed and avoid commitment.  He loved to sit on his futon and play Pink Floyd on his guitar, while I asked him hundreds of relationship questions.

I remember him saying to me once… “You’re the largest girl I’ve ever dated.”

I weighed 120 pounds at the time, and this made me want him more.

The two of us went to an Italian joint one evening.  The place had great Manicotti. I recall resenting him as I ordered a salad to help reduce my large lumbering five-foot-four, 120- pound- frame.

Afterwards, we went to see the movie Jurassic Park.  This would be the best evening of our relationship.  We both agreed the movie was awesome, but not as good as the book because Doctor Malcolm’s Chaos Theories weren’t explored or detailed nearly enough.  This was the highlight of our entire two-month relationship and the only time we ever agreed on anything.

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The relationship would end… But my love for Jurassic Park never did.

Oddly, years later, fifteen-years, to be exact, I would remember Jurassic Park once again when I made the decision to become what’s known as a “mid-life mommy.”  If you don’t know, a “mid-life mommy,” is the name given to a new mother over the age of thirty-five.  It sounds like a sales slogan for Metamucil.

I refuse to call myself that.  Instead I call myself a JURASSIC MOM.

A JURASSIC MOM is a mother over the age of thirty-five, who usually gets pregnant through some sort of help from science… It’s the kind of test tube situation where a scientist takes a single ovary, then injects it with the blood of a mosquito…. Or something like that.

Of course, a JURASSIC MOM, isn’t JUST someone who has explored science for pregnancy… It’s also any new mom over the age of thirty-five… Also any mom who loves the book JURASSIC PARK.

The vast majority of moms I know here in my hometown, Los Angeles, California, fit into the JURASSIC MOM category.   They are not moms in their twenties, like most of the moms I knew growing up.

The moms I know now, are moms like me… moms in their thirties, forties, and even fifties.  True.  Several of my good friends were around fifty when they got pregnant.  One of them worked for many years as an oncologist before she decided to have a baby.  Another is a successful producer.  Only now, has the branding of the term “mid-life mommy” come into play.

For years…. Men fathered children in their forties and fifties, and no one ever called them “midlife Daddies.”

What a crock to give us such a bad title.  JURASSIC MOMS are some of the fiercest moms I know.

Whenever I am with any of these women, I always think of the quote from Gloria Steinem… “We are becoming the men we always wanted to marry.”

Interesting quote…

Even more interesting… In the book Jurassic Park... The park is full of female dinosaurs intentionally bred because of their docile nature and inability to reproduce.  The scientists are like… “we will control the park because they are all women…” until everything goes awry and they find velociraptor eggs INSIDE THE PARK..

It is then that they realize the all female dinosaurs can breed!!!!

“Oh no,” they say…  “We underestimated them.  Because of the frog’s DNA, a bunch of them have turned into men. We are screwed.”

The last part was paraphrased because I’m too lazy to pick up the book and find the quote.

But know this…. I can relate every single thing having to do with motherhood to the story of Jurassic Park.   And I will do that.  Here.  Watch me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9 thoughts on “Jurassic Mom

  1. Well…well you did it again, my brilliant friend! Funny and fresh.
    Will be following the blog with baited breath. So true all you
    share…but we showed them and instead of being put out to pasture
    quietly; we started our second life, beautiful and fulfilling.

  2. Guess what? I’ve never watched “Jurassic Park”. But I turned 35 the day D was born. So I’m officially joining the Jurassic Mommy movement! Glad you started a blog, Amy. You’re wickedly funny and I’m looking forward to your posts!

  3. Love it! Can I call myself a Jurassic STEP-mother? I know I didn’t give birth to my step-kids but I take care and provide for them as if they are my own. I’m still on the fence about having my own child but if I do I’ll be mother over 40 so your blog is an excellent how to guide. Thank you!

    • Of course, Lorie! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. You absolutely count and are 100% in the club! And I think you gave me an idea for a future post about step parents. XOXO – Amy

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